A LONG-VOLATILITY, options-native strategy on Deribit ETH options that BUYS a short-dated ATM straddle only in the rare, well-defined regime where implied vol is depressed AND realized vol is compressed — i.e. the market is underpricing an imminent expansion. This is deliberately the OPPOSITE vega sign of the two pending short-vol VRP strategies (short strangle / delta-hedged short straddle), so it DIVERSIFIES the book's net vega instead of doubling the same short-gamma bet — when a vol spike arrives, this sleeve profits exactly when the short-vol sleeves bleed. It is NOT a momentum/trend OHLCV composite (0/213 dead class, L56), NOT funding/cross-sectional carry or reversal or betting-against-beta (all confirmed dead: L45/L57 and the recent HL basket abandons), NOT a single-asset RSI/BBand fade, NOT a liquidation/quarterly feed (L58), and NOT a sub-fee microstructure trade. The edge is conditional: crypto IV mean-reverts strongly from lows and volatility clusters, so buying convexity when it is cheap and the price coil is tight has positive conditional expectancy despite the general variance risk premium (which only makes long vol negative-EV UNCONDITIONALLY — the cheap-IV + squeeze gate flips the conditional sign). Fills the under-represented options bucket (5.3% vs ≥15%) and adds a market-diversifying, defined-max-loss (premium-only) sleeve. Exactly 3 tunable parameters: the IV-cheapness percentile, the price-squeeze (range-compression) threshold, and the profit-take on straddle value.