A bidirectional carry strategy on ETHUSDT perpetual futures (Binance USD-M) that takes contrarian positions when the 8-hour funding rate reaches the 95th percentile (positive or negative) of its trailing 90-day distribution. When funding is extremely positive (longs over-leveraged, paying shorts heavily), the strategy goes SHORT to collect the funding payment AND benefit from the documented post-extreme-funding price mean reversion. When funding is extremely negative (shorts over-leveraged), the strategy goes LONG for the same dual edge. Holding period is naturally short (1-7 days) because funding rates mean-revert within 24-72 hours after extreme readings. This is structurally orthogonal to all 10 mechanism classes falsified in this session: it is not trend-following, not price mean-reversion, not cross-asset, not cross-sectional, not calendar-based, not sub-daily intraday, not accumulation, not cross-venue arbitrage, not channel breakout, and not oscillator-based. The signal is funding rate (a supplementary data feed with multi-year Binance coverage), and the edge is the well-documented carry+mean-reversion combination that has produced Sharpe ~0.8-1.2 in academic crypto funding studies (Schmeling-Brueggemann-Krempel 2022; Naranjo 2019; Lo-Sornette 2024 update).